The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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