Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
