The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
