the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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