I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
