you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
