he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
