i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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