If that was your dad, he is hot
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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