i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
