i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
