im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
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I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
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If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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