Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
