I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
