The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
