so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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