i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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