just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
