I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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