So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
