Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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