Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
