I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
