I am puke
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
