if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
