I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize