I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
