so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
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