ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
