I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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