operation have a gay friend backfired
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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