Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
