don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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