There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
