Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
