Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
dude. I can hear the air.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
