I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My dick has a subreddit
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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