when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
