After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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