He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
