i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
i think i just lost a toe
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize