If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
