ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
