weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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