Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
