just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
