Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
