It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
and you fell through a lawn chair
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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