I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
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