It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
