Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize