i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize