garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize