Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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