its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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