Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
time to smoke my breakfast
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
