with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We need to get me chipped asap
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
