Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
