You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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