I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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