i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
