what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
