I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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