Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
