party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
