No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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