well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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