got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Randomize
