If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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