This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
